Brief descents into fear, and back

Bugger it, I seem to have caught a cold. Now if I can just avoid giving it to K. and my fellow chemo recipients at Emerson tomorrow!

This evening I had a brief reprise of the fear I felt early on, and again when we learned the indolent NHL had transformed. I mean, this chemo stuff appears to be working great, which is, for the moment, encouraging. But still... do I dare hope for a "complete and durable remission"? The prognosis for NHL has a wide range of possible remissions, from mere months to decades; I haven't had the nerve to see what it might be for someone on the cusp of transforming to large-cell. With my siblings Pam and Tom, they went downhill fast when they went. Am I setting myself up for heartbreak by being upbeat and positive? Still, being u. and p. is supposed to be (depending on whom you listen to) the best state for restoring health. So I choose to return to u. & p. -- a feat which I never would have guessed myself able to achieve in such circumstances. I owe much of it to you all, family and friends, and of course the irrepressible & irresistable K.


PS -- SR (click yesterday's Comment link to see SR's comment)

Well, I'm not as cute as Alex, post-shedding.

And I've had to cut way back on coffee, yes. I let myself have one cafe au lait per day, and then it's steamed milk or hairball ... I mean herbal.. tea. Chocolate & alcohol likewise restricted, all in large part due to the flaming esophagus, not so much the chemo, although that too wants limited coffee.

I do like your ideas for "rebranding" NHL! Perhaps there is some way to combine My Nice Hawaii Life Diary and My Naughty Habits in Leather Diary... My Naughty Hawaiian Leather Diary? Which reminds me, I've got to get working on those vacation photos...